Now, here at the comedy section, I have noticed that there are nothing but flash videos. Come on, guys. Let's do something original, like jokes! Here, I'll start it out.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Beause he was dead.

Now you try it.

That joke was really depressing 0.0

Fine, if no one else will post a joke, I will.

Q: What does a flashlight and a substitute teacher have in common?
A: They both love a leap year!

Post now or I will contiue to say bad jokes.

... I don't get it. :/

Um, you're not supposed to get. The joke is that is doesn't make sense

O_o

Q: What happens when you cross a chicken?
A: An angry chicken?

Q: How do you get 10 dead babies into a bowl?
A: A blender!

Q: How do you get them out?
A: TOSTITOS!

Okay, i just wanted to kill myself after reading that.

Sorry :(

Whenever people start telling jokes, I spring dead baby jokes on them. Usually I use questions which don't have "dead baby" in them for better effect during the punchline.

XDDDDD Score!

Q: What's the difference in between a jew and a pizza?
A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

*shot*

I was thinking about that joke after reading Severians dead baby joke.

While we are on the topic of dead babies....

Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of rocks?
A: It's harder to move rocks with a pitchfork.

That's an old joke Kaden :P

Those other ones are simply horrible...

Yeah, I knew that was old, but still, lol.

And UB... wow... just wow...

Eh, all of the jokes in this topic are just... wrong. :( And all of mine are old. :unsure:


oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Q: Who's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
A: Christopher Walkin. xD

Q: What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jelly beans?
A: The black ones try and steal your watch.

:P Old, but still fun.

Q: Whats worse that finding ten dead babies in a dumpster?
A: Finding one dead baby in ten dumpsters.

^

Now that dead baby joke is funny...your other ones are just....fucked up.

O.L.D.

They're all dead baby jokes, none are more(or less) fucked up then any other.

Thes ones about fucking a dead baby....are messed up more.

What's usually about 5 inches long, is hard, somtimes vibrates, and is sometimes covered in white gunk?

A toothbrush!

Your toothbrush is sometimes not hard?
And Vibrates?
And is only 5 inches long?

No? :blink:
Yes. :wub:
Yes. :wub:

What did one jew say to the other?

"These showers aren't working right..."

XD That was funny.

Some of these jokes are quite tasteless.

They need more salt. Ba-dum-psh!

*cues cricket sounds*

@ Leo - Wow... that actually made me laugh. X_X I'm ashamed of myself.

How does a racists motorcycle sound like?

Runnigganiggarun!

...>_>

lmfao, this topic is mean... but it's actually funny for a change.

Whats long, hard, and full of seamen?

A submarine!

*enter kaden with old jokes*

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.
Ba-Dum-Ching!

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...

Two fish are swimming and run into a wall. One turns to the other and says 'damn' lol

... I just wasted a minute of my life typing those up. X_X

Ron Simmons?

I unno, just heard it a long time ago.

Dr. Evil jokes lol.

Why don't dinosaurs talk?

Becuase they're all dead!

Sry to bump, but that toothbrush joke was awesome.

MODERATE NECROMANCY POOOOOOWAAAAAAAAAHS!

Warning: The followning jokes may be sadistic, controversial, racist, anti-religious, and stupid.

Heres one that someone me and Hyper know told us...

So, theres a man, and on a priest on the greens.
The man takes a swing with his putter and smacks a golfball across the field, it misses the hole by a few inchs.
The man goes "GOD DAMNIT I MISSED!"
So the priest responds, "You shouldn't say that son, god might smite ya for it".
Suddenly a thunder bolt smacks the priest right up the ass, he dies quite obviously.
An ominous voice booms; "GOD DAMNIT I MISSED!"

And heres some more original ones...

So theres an asian-american, a black man, and a white man.
They go into the bar and this huge jug of ice cold beer is layed down between the.
So the asian-american says, "If that was a woman, I'd marry her..."
The black man goes, "If that was a woman, we'd be having a wild time in bed..."
And the white man finally responds, "If that was a woman, I'd be afraid of commitment."

And heres one last joke from me...

So a sick orphan is the crossing the streets, a huge truck flies at him and the driver can't see him.
The orphan falls over and the truck flies right over him because hes so sickly and skinny, he goes "That was close, I could have died!"
Suddenly the exhaust gas flies into his face and he begins choking on it and eventually falls over lifeless.

Here's some awful but hilarious jokes I heard from a friend who has a racist sister. oO

What do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot.

Why are black people black?
Because God burnt one.

How do you make a babie cry twice?
By wiping your bloody c@ck on it's face. (only cruel baby joke I can remember)

How do you get four gay guys on a stool?
You turn it upside down.

How do fit 100,000 Jews into a car?
You put them in the ash tray.

This one is from a favorite movie of mine Boondock Saints:

A mexican, a black man, and a white man are walking down a beach when suddeny the come across a lamp. The mexican picks it up and rubs it and a genie comes up stating:
"I will grant each of you a wish"
The mexican wishes:
"I would like all of my people to live happily back in Mexico."
So he vanishes along with all of the other Mexican-Americans to Mexico.
The black man wishes:
"I would like all of my brothers and sisters to live happily back in Africa."
So he vanishes along with all of the other African-Americans to Africa.
The genie turns to the white man and says:
"What is your wish?"
The white man ponders and ask wonderingly:
"So you mean to tell me all the Mexicans and Blacks are gone?
The genie replies:
"Yes."
The white man then says:
"Then I'll have a coke."