Grondy has nothing to write about (partly because you all were lazy and didn't spam up his inbox with ideas, but also because he's a very dull boy and can't think of his own ideas. Anyway, here's Grondy!
Hi, folks. Welcome to the fourth article of my weekly column… you might have noticed that I seem rather lethargic today. Y’know why? Because I am. I’m as tired as Santa Claus on Christmas Day.
Actually, to tell you the truth, I really didn’t feel like writing an article today. I kinda thought, “Ah, hell, no one reads ‘em anyway, so of course I can take a break for a day”, but then in a miraculous upset the part of me that actually has a work ethic beat out the immensely powerful slacker in me. After all, in ten years I’ll probably have to do this for a living, and my editor would immediately fire my lazy rear if I took a sabbatical after only three freakin’ columns.
Speaking of editors, since I’m cramming and writing this on thesame day Axem Titanium will post it, Mad Mod won’t be able to edit it. So, I apologize in advance if it’s crappy and boring.
Now then, time to pick a topic. Let’s go fishing. =takes out a mental fishing rod and casts it into his mind pool (nearly taking out the person behind him when he leans back), waits=
Hey! I got one! Today’s topic will be… drumroll, please…
The true meaning of life itself! I must now reveal to you that I have been chosen to guard and keep the secrets of the universe, and heed me now as I loose true understanding upon the world! The first key principle of existence is – bah, the topic’s too heavy. No one’s going to like it. Let’s do something the idiots in the audience will appreciate and just review
Wolf’s Rain.
Now, as a sadly very small amount of you know, Episode 26 of Wolf’s Rain,
Moonlight Crucible, aired last night. It would seem, then, that the series is over, which would be a very
bad thing – the ones who watched the supposed “wrap–up” of the series know what I mean.
But wait! I only said it would
seem that way. But rejoice, minority that actually likes Wolf’s Rain! It hast not ended yet.
[Person Who’s Definitely Not Mad Mod Who Grondy Invented Just For Him to Give a Joke a Punch Line: Shaddap! You’re getting too melodramatic!]
Sorry, sorry! (Yeesh, I’m apologizing to a figment of my imagination. Perhaps I should get some professional help. How the mighty have fallen…)
[P.W.D.N.M.M.W.G.I.J.F.H.T.G.A.J.A.P.L.: Grr…]
Right. Back on track. For the next four Saturdays [adult swim] will be airing the four OVA episodes of
Wolf’s Rain, numbers 27–30, in which–well, it’s a spoiler, so I’ll just type it up somewhere else and link it up
here.
Now then, shall I summarize the show for you? Perhaps I shall, perhaps I shan’t. Perhaps I’m delirious because someone spiked my coffee this morning. Perhaps I’m hallucinating someone spiked my coffee because someone spiked my breakfast. Whatever.
Wolf’s Rain is set in a post–apocalyptic (heh, I love saying big words like that–they make me feel smart) era, where much of the world is wasteland and humanity survives only in domed cities ruled by an enigmatic group called the nobles. An additional fact is that wolves have been extinct for a hundred years, except obviously they haven’t because all the humans in the show incessantly claim that they have and humans are, of course, all dunces, right? Except for me.
Enter Kiba, a wolf. To make a long story short, he meets up with three other wolves named Tsume, Hige and Toboe, and then try to get Cheza, the Flower Maiden (a girl created from Lunar Flowers), who will lead the world’s last lycanthropes to paradise, away from the ruling Noble of the city, except Cheza is taken by Darcia, anther powerful Noble who has a paralytic eye and knocks out a good deal of the laboratory staff studying Cheza, including Cher Degree, the head scientist, whose ex–husband Hubb Lebowski, is a detective in the ruling Noble’s employ, and who in the first few episodes interrogates a man named Quent Yaiden, who used to be the sheriff of a town called Kyrios until it was destroyed by (at least he thinks) wolves, so Quent has dedicated his life to hunting down all remaining wolves and killing them to avenge his family, of which only remains his dog, Blue, who is actually part wolf, and who along with the rest of the cast chase Cheza all over the world, pausing only to alternate between congratulating Grondring on introducing every single major character in one sentence and smacking him for writing a run–on sentence the size of a college term paper.
And there it is, the premise of
Wolf’s Rain in a horribly mutated and bloated nutshell. Did I miss anything?
[The Person Who is Definitely Not Mad Mod And Was First Invented For A Punch Line But Is Now Grondring’s Main Conversationalist: Yeah, idiot. You forgot to mention that wolves can disguise themselves as humans.]
Oh yeah. Well, wolves can make themselves appear as humans to the rest of the human dunces in the world. There. That’s it.
Now, I know not very many people like
Wolf’s Rain, mainly because it’s so slow. I agree that the pace of the story is rather erratic, jumping between the wolves walking around looking for Cheza (half the show), epic action blow up awesome super parts (a fourth of the show), characters talking (an eighth of the show), and everything else (the last eighth of the show).
However,
Wolf’s Rain has a lot of potential. While it doesn’t always use this potential to its fullest, it still manages to do very well with it, and rarely if ever drops below my standards for exploiting potential. It’s really an excellent show. In fact, it’s so great that me, cheapo that I am, have actually decided to buy all the DVDs. Freaky, ne?
All right, I’m done. Not much relevant content in this, I know, but frankly, you’re lucky to get anything at all, so don’t complain, okay? Now I’m tired and am going to drink some more possibly spiked coffee so I can finish my homework which I haven’t even touched (except for my reading book,
Catcher in the Rye, which I’ve practically finished even though I’m only supposed to be on the fifth chapter), perhaps write something about Horobi, the Kami of Death’s Wail, and attempt to cure myself of my obsession with abnormally long run–on sentences. Ciao.
Grondring is tired, so go away and stop reading this. His email’s grondring@hotmail.com, though if you email him right now while he’s in one of his moods, he’ll probably bite your head off and then use it for a chew toy.Mad Mod, Grondring’s editor, gets a free break today. Give him a ring at madmod52@yahoo.com if you want to interrupt it.