Let's have it, tell your best joke, if your joke is the best your prize will be: the pleasure of knowing you have made others happy errrg *regurgitates dragon meat*. To give all of you rookies a chance, i'll post my joke later.

There is two friends walking in a forest hunting when one of the two collapses, 'oh my god' the other screams. He pulls out his mobile and calls emergency services and yells 'My friends dead'. The lady on the other side of the phone says 'Look, there's not much i can do really, 1st make sure that he's dead, he may still be alive.'

*BANG*

'Yeah, now what?'
:D

When I went to weddings when I was younger my old relatives would point at me and cackle"YOU'RE NEXT, HAHAHAHAHA"

They stopped when I started doing the same thing at funerals.

[Removed for being just plain disturbing]

Thats a tad disturbing DM :ph43r:

Ok... There were too many people in heaven, so God had a knew rule. You had to have a terrible last day on earth to get accepted. Ok, so the angels guarding the gates to heaven asked the first guy "Did you have a bad day before you died?"

"Hell ya. Imagine this. I'm walking back to my apartment, right, and find my wife naked on the bed, with some mans trouser on the floor. I search the house, but I find no one. Then when I was about to give up, I see the guy hanging from my balcony. So I grab the first thing I can find, which happens to be a fridge, and chuck it at him. Then the damn fridge cord wraps around my leg and i go falling off too."

"Thats pretty bad. Ok, you can pass."... then, another guy comes up to the gates. The angel asks him the same question: "Did you have a bad day before you died?"

"Oh yea. Imagine this. I'm painting my balcony railings, when I trip and fall off. Luckily though I manage to grab on to the balcony below. Then, some mad man throws a fridge at me and I go smashing into the floor."

The angel chuckles. 'This might be fun,' he thought. "Ok, thats pretty bad, you can go."... after a while, another man come up. The angel asks him, "did you have a bad day in heaven?"

"Ok, imagine this. Im hiding in a fridge."

ok the only reason im not going to post my jokes is becuase there are little ones here (just whonted people to know)

i'm sure most of you have heard of these inventions, but there might be new ones

fly screen for a submarine
solar powered flashlight
air conditioner for a motorbike
ejection seat for a helicopter
instant H20, just add water
waterproof towel
fireproof matchstick

i think i know a few more, i just can't remember at the moment

dm...thats just sick......

walnuts!

bob your stupid how about
penuts
and dm that well umm im not going to say anything else

8 more fun things to do in an elevator

1) Stick your foot out when a lot of people are getting off
2) Say “ahem” and point at the maximum capacity sign when a fat person is getting on
3) Draw a line between everyone else and the door and say “this is MY half of the elevator!”
4) Draw a brick wall on a huge piece of paper then hang it behind the door
5) When the door opens jump out and scream BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!!
6) Glue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up
7) Put a stick in front of the door and charge admission
8) Turn to someone, yell “SPIDER!!” and tackle them

where do you get this stuff but knowing me i whould print this out and really go do it and it whould probaly be fun
yea my stupidness

look at the other list I posted

i know ive seen it but did you think of this your self but you whould probaly get in trouble for Saying “ahem” and point at the maximum capacity sign when a fat person is getting on

I made up these 8, and it would still be one great moment

I didn't make mine up, for the record. Wolfe did....

Wolfe as in your team's keeper right?

hahahahahahaha we should make this a contest lol

Wolfe as in our Offensive midfield. Curtis is our goalie, and the best **** goalie I've ever seen

hmm I see, what side does Wolfe play?

Offensive Midfield

well it said offensive forward

just wondering because my chances of joining your team are so slim now....that is IF Jeffrey's not making up the whole thing about the twins

who plays left forward most of the time?

Joseph/Matt

Joseph's not too good....

but of course, if it's the matt I think you mean, he's awesome

Its not, he doesn't go to our school

I know he doesn't go to our school, I know who it is because Jeffrey was talking about him

suuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee u do fc
now post our stury
if u have it

dm's got it

I'd say mega_dude's winning this one,as I've heard the hunting friends several times.

A blonde woman walks into a barber's shop,wearing a freestyle.She says she wants to get a haircut,but that the barber can't by any means take off her earphones.The barber began to cut her hair,and was in the end finished with everything except where she had the earphones.

"I got to take off those earphones now." he thought,and removed them.After a few minutes haircutting,the woman fell dead from the chair.The barber panicked,wondering how she died.He picked up the earphones,and in them he heard:
"Breath in,breath out.Breath in,breath out.Breath in...."

Matt

Bannanas
Really
Own
Water
Nog

as in the eighth grade dude Jeffrey was talking about

I've heard that one.

id say my joke is the best

nah man my elevator list will bury you

LET'S GET SOME JUDGES!!! lol

walnuts eat elevator lists
i read it in national geographic

i vote fc cuase the next time i go to a place with elavators im going to use some from fc's list and tell you how they work out and bob penuts eat walnuts so ha ha hahaha

ill post some of my stupid things to do on a elaviator later

wooo!! I got a vote B)

wait how did you get a vote hmm......

if i'm not mistaken, Esgalglinion voted for mega....

o opps i diddnt rember that my bad

Yep :D Go me go! I vote BM's walnut thing by the way. National Geographic... lol