Merry Christmas, folks. I’m never one for deception, so I’m going to be candid. Right now I’m tired and bored and have a huge case of writer’s block. It’s taking every ounce of pure raw will in my body to persist on writing this. Truthfully all I want is to curl up and go to sleep. But I’ve made a commitment to writing this column, so I’ll carry it through for better or worse. Probably worse.

You know, I really have no idea what to write this article on. (As I said, I have a record-breaking case of writer’s block.) One of the ideas I concocted was to talk about the festive spirit of Christmas and how Santa Claus does exist as an avatar of that spirit and stuff, but I promptly threw that idea out when I realized it required me to think. I don’t feel like thinking right now either.

So what I’m going to do is just ramble about whatever springs to mind and stop whenever I feel like it. Fun, no?

The Matrix is overrated. The actual concept’s pretty good, but they pretty much ripped out all plot and stuff for the last two of the trilogy. I did, however, like Smith’s battle with Neo for some inane reason. Hugo Weaving’s awesome. It gives me shivers whenever I hear him say “Mr. Anderson”.

I wonder when the super extended box set DVD thing for Return of the King is coming out. Knowing my luck they’ve already been released and I’ve missed all of ‘em. Ah well. That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

I like Fullmetal Alchemist. I just like the idea of rearranging molecules and stuff and how much potential that has beyond only making weapons. I cite Scar and Kimbly as examples. Scar uses Alchemy to rip people apart and Kimbly uses it to make bombs. It’s a very intriguing concept.

What irks me is that there are so many differences between the manga and the anime. From what I’ve seen so far it looks like Fullmetal Alchemist is another Hellsing, where the creators of the anime make up villains completely different from those in the manga just so they can have a climax to the story. A lot of the stuff in the anime either doesn’t happen in the manga or is ripped from different places.

I suppose I like the manga better because I regard it as “purer”. It’s the original, made by the creator, and I can’t help but view anything else as a corrupted, tainted version twisted by stupid script writers and producers looking for a high profit margin. That’s also why I like the Hellsing manga better than the Hellsing anime.

The Hellsing manga really gets me mainly because of just one thing – cool text and cool poses.

… wait, that’s two things, isn’t it? Whatever. Rambling isn’t supposed to make sense. Cool text includes the Iscariot creed, which I typed up and would have put here except it’s on a different computer. Take my word for it, it sounds really cool and is punctuated by scenes of Alexander throwing knives at vampires. The second is cool poses. All the characters just look so amazing whenever they’re doing anything.

Actually, I had to switch computers in the middle of the writing, so I can give you the creed now. Here:

How come no one likes Scar from Fullmetal Alchemist? I’ve visited a few forums and everybody despises him, plus on the popularity poll for the manga he didn’t even get in the top ten. I like Scar. Maybe this is just my thing for monotheistic avengers speaking, but I still like him nonetheless.

Yeesh, why am I bothering even to write this? How many people even read my column? Like three? I feel so depressed. I should-DAMMIT, HOW DID THE DEFEATIST PART OF MY BRAIN GET OUT AGAIN! DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!

Ahem. Sorry for that pessimistic outburst and also for the ensuing violent outburst. I dislike it when I act like a defeatist. I often react very loudly and vehemently.

I like Halo. It’s fun. My favorite weapon is the pistol. I have no idea why. Actually, I’m lying, I do have an idea why. It’s compact, it’s accurate, and it packs a punch. It also has a scope. Yeah, the snipr rifle’s got a better one, but I prefer the pistol because it can hold more rounds and it’s better in close range combat. My natural good aim can easily compensate for the loss of one extra zoom.

I don’t get why Hunters are supposed to be so hard to kill. My strategy for ‘em is basically to first pepper them with assault rifle spray, then plug ‘em in the back of the head a few times with a pistol. Repeat until they keel over. This is a vast improvement over my original tactics, which were to run in close, attach a plasma grenade to it, and then run the hell away as fast as possible. This usually ended with a Hunter blasting me in the skull with its fuel rod gun.

I also like Halo’s story a lot. It irks me that I’ll have to wait for like three years for it to come out on PC. Grr. Oh well. Patience is a virtue and one I intend to retain.

Another thing I like which might seem rather odd is old time radio. I’m a pretty big old time radio buff, at least relative to most people I know. Gunsmoke, Jack Benny, Johnny Dollar... Yeah, I’m weird, aren’t I? Right now I’m listening to the Big Broadcast, a huge compilation of old time radio on WAMU, so I might seem a bit distracted.

And thus I shall end today’s article. Rambling is very, very fun. Four pages flew by quickly. A merry Christmas to you all.

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Grondring’s very happy because tonight [as] is airing a Venture Bros. Christmas special.

I'm probably the only one in the universe who thinks this, but I love the second and third Matrix. I love the action, and the flying robot thing, and the key maker... all that stuff.

As for Halo, I'm pretty sure one shot with the pistol in their orange shot kills them. Might save you some ammo :P

And yes, I'm the only one who reads this, because it's crap. (<----Me trying to see if I can get you to scream again.) :D

MEGA YOU ARE A <blocked> LOSER I"VE READ THIS LONGER THAN YOU HAVE!

Yay! People read it!

you knew that...

I did. More people read it! Yay!

:\... I was only kidding :(...

Yeesh, Strike, you're scaring away my readers. ^_^

:lol: :P ^_^ um... :peace:

Hippie Strike. Heh.

Oh great. I've been tricked/forced into reading another article unknowingly... I mean... I've read every article and they're grrrrrrrrreat!

Doctor Axem and Mr. Hyde-er, Titanium.

Yup yup.



"Alright alright listen up people. We need to make money over the holi-day SEA-son! Now HOW do YOU propose WE do THAT!!"

"Sir, I happen to have an idea. How about a special "extended version" of our Lord of the Rings DVDs? You know, with all the deleted scenes, and all of the scenes lost in post-production (ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL 3 REFERENCE!)

"Deleted scenes? Ah, yes, yes, that's right! A couple hours worth of walking/traveling scenes should make us a quick holiday buck! No one will know the difference!"

"Yeah!" "Jolly good!" "Where's my damn condiments!?" "That's a great idea!" "The chicken is getting cold..." "All hail Staff Member Todd! Bow down to him, and his money-making ideals!" ~THUMP~ ~THUMP~ ~THUMP~ ~THUMP~ "CONDIMENTS, DAMMIT!" ~THUMP~

"You're in for a promotion, Executive Todd."

"How about, ahem, partners?"

"How about, AHEM, don'tpushittomefiringyourass, Executive Todd."

"......Done."

LOL. Wait, is it out or not?

i read you rambling grondy!!

I liked this article.