On the sixth day, God “created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27)

“By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from his work.” (Genesis 2:2)

On the eighth day, man became conscious, tried to figure out the meaning of life, couldn’t and committed suicide.

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And with that uplifting little anecdote, welcome to yet another week of my column! I’d like to thank you, my awesome readers, for almost five months of near-continuous articles. I still only have a small audience, but I’m steadily going nowhere! Thank you, thank you very much!

Now on with the article. (On a side note, I wonder how many people have already guessed the topic. You sure had plenty of time; after all, I postponed it about three or four times…)

A long time ago, in an article far, far away, I made a joking remark about writing a piece on the meaning of life. Karn (perhaps jokingly as well; I don’t know; I can’t read minds, especially not that of the ever-stoic Karn) suggested that I actually carry through with it. And so I thoughtfully stored the idea in my mental refrigerator, waiting for the correct inspiration. And now the inspiration has come, like a mental earthquake that has pulverized my mental fridge and released the ideas within! (Plus messed with my brain a little. That was a weird analogy, wasn’t it?)

But melodramatic gunk aside, yes, this column is on the meaning of life. I have studiously extracted as many religious references as possible for the benefit of any pagans or atheists, at least one of whom I know reads this on a relatively regular basis.

So what is the meaning of life? The meaning of life, my friends, is that you must find your own individual meaning.

… I’d love to have just left it off there and watch all of you seethe angrily with confusion and disappointment, but I’m not quite that evil. Quite.

Collectively, “the world is round; it has no point.” (Adrienne E. Gusoff) Yet each and everyone one of us can, in our own way, find for ourselves a chunk of meaning that can inspire our whole lives. How? Easy. You must have a goal.

Someone once said, “there is nothing so dangerous as a man on a mission.” Hyperbole, yes, but the point remains valid. Having a goal in life gives one a purpose, and a life that has a purpose has meaning. A person without purpose is similar to a piece of driftwood floating aimlessly, feebly, hopelessly down the river of life. A person with purpose is like a glistening new yacht, surging forwards, ever striving to gain another few feet towards its destination. It gives you a sense of direction, a sense of where you want – no, where you need to go. Instead of “I live because dying is too much trouble”, one would have a mindset of “I live because I have a task in life, and I will not rest until I have reached it.”

Let’s have an example, shall we?

I have three missions in life, which might explain why I’m so much better than all of you. (Just kidding, just kidding. Put the knives down, please.)

My first involves immortality, robots, and the Antichrist. I will not speak of it in more detail because then you’ll be convinced I’m insane.

My second is to attempt to be a full time writer. This simple goal has still given me direction. Instead of spending my free time simply lounging and doing nothing, I read, write, et cetera, et cetera. It can influence my decisions so I’m not just randomly picking a choice. It makes me thinks farther ahead than I normally would. I may never even achieve this goal, but I will always keep trying, and I will always keep moving even if I’m merely running in place.

My last goal is to be the best human being I can possibly be. I’ve made far less progress on this than being a writer; I’m positive that I would be tossed straight into Hell the way I am now if not for God’s forgiveness. Still, I have to honestly say I’m doing a bit better than many of my peers. This simple goal has made me a nice guy and brightened my life. I’m sorry for sounding preachy, but it actually has, and I advise you to try it.

So that’s it. I know this is short. In truth, I actually was planning to =winces= postpone it another week, and had asked AT to be a guest author and write something. However, it came down to one simple thing – he didn’t. So I scrambled around my office (yes, I do have an office), almost lost my manuscript three times, found it each time, typed it, lost inspiration twice, gained it back once, and then struggled through to the end barely. Even though I faced a ridiculous amount of difficulty in getting it out, I hope this gave you some interesting food for thought.

Next week, we’ll (hopefully) have AT doing a guest piece discussing the merits of End of Evangelion. I’m really just testing out this guest thing. If AT writes a good article, I might expand it to other people. If he doesn’t, and writes something like “omg omg end of eva is so fliping awesum eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” I’ll lose all respect for him. Plus the next time I see him I’ll punch him in the nose, which will probably hurt more. Ciao.

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Grondring is faring well, thanks for asking.

Mad Mod is faring even better, since Grondy wrote this at the last minute and didn’t have time to have him edit it.

That's cruel. I specifically said I would do it Monday. Oh well. You didn't even mention 42 in the whole article either.

I think he expects us to know what 42 is-- the meaning of life, according to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and he is simply explaining what the meaning of life is-- or isn't.

Hmm... guest writing? Could be fun...

Does that mean I can slack off and get the review out next Sunday?

um..sure...

Very good article, and nope I wasn't joking, I love topics like this.

To 'Ivan: Yeah, I was expecting people to know what it meant.

To Karn: I'm glad you liked it.

To AT: Yeah, get it out next Sunday.

To Strike: If you want to write one too, better hope AT does his well.

I actually don't know what 42 means but oh well.

he better...

To Strike: He probably will. Probably. (Don't you love how much faith I have in you, AT?)

To Karn: It's from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Trilogy". The answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.

Umm, ok. *Is still somewhat confused but oh well*

Have you read any of them?

I started Hitchhikers Guide.... but then I lost it.

Don't worry. With enough pestering, I'll produce something quarter-decent.

=pester pester= How's the progress?

Nope.

Hey Karn. Have you watched Death & Rebirth/End of Eva yet?

I HAVE!! i ddin't really get it tho...

I have now officially watched the first three minutes of Death and Rebirth. For three minutes, they're pretty good.

I've whatched it twice. ;)

ah... not once but twice... ^_^

Don't make pointless posts.

It's so violent and bloody. They're supposed to tie up loose ends but it makes so many more.

don't you hate when that happens? I know I do... When something is supposed to answer all your questions, and it opens so many more, it just makes me want to kill something...

I haven't watched it yet. Don't spoil it.