In war soldiers get injured, right? Here's how different races exclaim:
When the BRITISH got shot - OH MY GOD.....!!!!
When the MALAY got shot - YA ALLAH....!!!
When the INDIAN got shot - AH-YOYO AMMAH...!!!
But when the CHINESE Hokkien got shot, they go - NABUEH C B, TIOK LIAO...!!!!
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Signal for ###:
Man marries deaf girl. He mimes to her: "Let's make a signal code if we want ###?"
She nods and agrees. So he goes: "If I want ###, I'll squeeze your breast.
In response you can shake my penis once for "yes" and 50 times for "no"....
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Smart Thambi
Thambi ask hooker how much for ###? She says: $50 on bed, $20 on sofa and $10 on grass.
He then hands her $50. She says: "You man of class, one time on bed...?"
He says: "NO!! 5 times on grass...."
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Comfort in Friendship:
"Friends" are like underwear; always a comfort...
"Good friends" are like condoms; always protecting... "Great friends" are like viagra; lift you up when you're down ...
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New drink from Malaysia:
The Malaysian government has approved the release of a new drink made with cutting edge technology.
It's a combination of Horlicks, Milo Kopi & Teh.
It's called - "LICKMYKOTEH"....
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Expiry date
A 95 yr old man sucks his 90yr old wife's breast for 1/2 hour, drinks 2 drops of her milk and dies...
Post-mortem report - Died of drinking something after EXPIRY DATE ...
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Biology Lesson
Teacher: A man's penis has 2 key functions: Urination & Reproduction.
Student: But my dad uses it to brush our maid's teeth.
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Positive thinking
Positive thinking is like this.... A little bird flies up in the sky; you look up and it shits in your eye...
But you don't mind and you don't cry... But you thank God that cows don't fly.....
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Sexy Grandma
Last night, grandma wore a see-through top, grandpa didn't notice.
The 2nd night grandma wore a bikini, grandpa got a shock.
And on the 3rd night, she got naked and grandpa says to her: "why is your dress so crumpled...???"
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Government job
A guy goes to interview for a Government job.
The interviewer asks him, "Are you a veteran?"
The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam."
"Good," says the interviewer, "That counts in your favor. Do you have any service-related disabilities?"
The guy says, "In fact I am 100% disabled. During a battle, an explosion removed my private parts so they declared me disabled,
it doesn't affect my ability to work, though."
"Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you, I can hire you right now !
Our working hours are 8 to 4. Come on in about 10, and we'll get you started."
The guy says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to come at 10?"
" Well, here at the government, we don't do anything but sit around and scratch our balls for the first two hours. No point of your coming in for that !"
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Subject: Why women talk so much
A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men.
Excited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her the study results.
It read: "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000."
The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband,
"It's because we have to repeat everything we say."
The husband said, "What?"
VEry Very funny.......this is the best post i like it very much :lol: :lol: :lol: