i got these off of sum1's xanga

A Man Escapes From Prison

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for some money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. Instead of tying up the women to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict! Look at his clothes! He probably spend lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a women in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous to us. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong honey, I love you!! To which the wife responds" He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering into my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey, I love you too!!

Here iz anotha one

This man said, "I must have you right now! I'll drop $500 dollars on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up, I can have my way with you from behind!" The woman thought it over and told the man to wait a minute. She called her girlfriend on her cell phone and told her about the man's proposition. Her girlfriend said, "When he drops the $500 on the ground I'm sure you can pick it up and run before he gets his pants down. Call me back and tell me what happened." An hour and a half later the lady called her girlfriend back. "What happened?" the girlfriend asked. The lady said, "Girl...... That Motha F%cka had $500 in quarters!"

lmao
i liked the 1st one the best

lmao
those were funny

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for some money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. Instead of tying up the women to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict! Look at his clothes! He probably spend lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a women in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous to us. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong honey, I love you!! To which the wife responds" He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering into my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey, I love you too!!


That ones funny.

i agree.i like da 1st 1 da best

1st one is funnny!

This man said, "I must have you right now! I'll drop $500 dollars on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up, I can have my way with you from behind!" The woman thought it over and told the man to wait a minute. She called her girlfriend on her cell phone and told her about the man's proposition. Her girlfriend said, "When he drops the $500 on the ground I'm sure you can pick it up and run before he gets his pants down. Call me back and tell me what happened." An hour and a half later the lady called her girlfriend back. "What happened?" the girlfriend asked. The lady said, "Girl...... That Motha F%cka had $500 in quarters!"

that sucks! did she go for it?

I guess she did caz it took her an hour and a half 2 call back

oooh yeahhhh! forgot!