There were two things in the world that completely took the world out from under Caleb, made him feel like a normal teenaged kid again, made him feel normal. The first thing was driving; sure it could have been construed as stupid and Tyler always said it was pointless if he really didn’t have anywhere to go, a waste of gas, but Caleb loved it. Second -- Caleb usually avoided saying it out loud around too many people because it sounded all corn-ball and cheesy even to his own ears – was Sarah.

Spending time with Sarah was amazing, just looking at her sometimes when she thought he wasn’t looking made him feel almost completely vulnerable, completely one hundred and fifteen percent volatile and strangely… normal. It was a feeling that was hard to deal with at first, the feeling of sickness in his stomach whenever he saw her, the feeling of vulnerability in his usually seamless armor, but Caleb had gotten used to it. In fact, Caleb was so used to it now, that he wondered what he had done before her, because God only knew he hadn’t dated much or at all even though girls were always around him, vying for his attention. Now, Caleb welcomed the sickness in his stomach, welcomed the nervous feelings that made him look his appearance over in the small mirror a million times before he left the front seat of his car to get her inside Spenser.

Tonight was no different and sadly, he felt like a girl as he ran his hands through his hair in the front seat of his ‘stang. Running his hands through it to make sure everything was fine, looking at the way he appeared from certain angles while silently hoping he had not suddenly transformed into a narcissist.

It was this worry, as he walked the dormitory halls, his eyes on his feet and history book clutched in his grasp that propelled him almost past Sarah’s door. The library had closed early that night, so when Sarah had suggested that he stop by her dorm to brush up on some history that she was having trouble with, Caleb hadn’t refused. Now, he felt extremely nervous.

Back pedaling the several steps in which he had passed her door, Caleb cleared his throat as quietly as he possibly could have and raised a fist to knock on the door lightly.